Say what, Madame? “Healthcare reform bill” in the same sentence as the word “Christmas”? With all due respects Madame, Halloween, the time when the healthcare bill was introduced to “we the people,” is a more appropriate season for your bloated ghoul! Christmas is a season of love, peace and joy. Your bill is unqualified for inclusion in the Christmas season.

The minority who support your bill may try to bring out clichés such as not” looking a gift horse in the mouth, “or “it is the thought, not the gift.” I looked that “gift horse” in the mouth and its 1990 “teeth” are grotesque! As for “thought,” that is the problem. Not enough “thought” was put into this monstrosity that was rushed through the House!

It is ironic, how this all works. Troops are dying in Afghanistan needing reinforcements to finally put a stake through the heart of the soulless enemies they face. The Taliban has been rejuvenated and growing bolder in IDE attacks. We are “deliberating.” Deliberations have been going on for four months and still counting, and counting, and counting, and no decision has been made on granting the request of the General in charge of operations. Why have professionals in charge if the non-professionals are going to dither till kingdom come, or the terrorists overrun the land? It is a good thing that I am not a cynic. If I were, I would have begun to think that this “hyper-dithering” is calculated.

On the other hand, healthcare “reform” was rushed through before legislators who are supposed to be voting for the bill, even had time to read the bill. When they were given time, it was 72 hours. Actually, it was probably even less than 72 hours since there was this big rush to pass that bill by midnight on a Saturday. Aren’t these folks generally in office from about noon on Tuesday until about early afternoon on Thursday? It must have been quite a “sacrifice” to put in almost a full week!

Maybe Madame Speaker may want to leave existing health plans in place, especially for the citizens who live in New York. They were delivered a Friday the thirteenth “present.” They are going to have the “privilege” of putting on a trial for his “Hairiness,” Sheik whatever the heck his name is, he who is suspected of, and/or confessed to being the mastermind of the attacks of 9/11. The Attorney General, Eric Holder proudly announced:

"After eight years of delay, those allegedly responsible for that attacks of September the 11th will finally face justice. They will be brought to New York – to New York – to answer for their alleged crimes in a courthouse just blocks away from where the twin towers once stood.”

Others are not as enthused at this “brilliant” decision. One legislator described it as “asinine.” Anything that I add would be redundant, and far less accurate.

One of the provisions in this healthcare reform bill promises prison time for citizens who decline to “accept the invitation” to sign on to this government colonoscopy. Get my cell (no, not the phone), ready. I am willing to test to see whether this nation founded under God is going to take away the freedom of a citizen who declines to not participate in healthcare that has in provisions for “end of life counseling” for the elderly, which translates to hurry up and die! These provisions, cell time and hurry up and die time, are but two of the “horrors,” in this bill.

I am beginning to get a feeling how life in Germany was for those who resisted the “charms” of Adolph as he persuaded sycophants that the Jews and ovens were compatible. Explain to me when the US, the “beacon of hope,” “shining city on the hill,” became the newest symbol of repression. Imagine the press when you incarcerate me for not ponying up premiums for a prayer, that I will receive better health care than I have received pre healthcare “reform.” If you are willing to chance the bad rep, I am willing to be your test case.

I have one other question for you. If this healthcare is such a Christmas present, how come you and your cronies, er colleagues have not signed on for you and your families? Why are you avoiding having this “present,” under your Christmas trees? Sign up and I may follow your lead, or not.

Here is my Christmas present. I am going to make like Santa and keep a list of who is naughty and who is nice. My list will be made up exclusively of politicians. Guess what behavior fits into the “naughty” category? I will send contributions to those who have been “nice.” I do not ask much of the “nice” ones, except the following:

▪ They have to be very familiar with the history of this country.

▪ They must have more than a passing acquaintanceship with the US Constitution.

▪ They must have earned a living at a real job before going to feed at the public trough.

▪ They should know that “cold, hard cash,” does not mean cash kept in a freezer.

▪ They must be allergic to pork, as in earmarks.

▪ They must not think that pages and interns are “snacks.”

I am taking applications.

Awesome! I just came up with a fabulous idea for serving up that healthcare plan. We are approaching the season for giving thanks and indulging in our favorite bird for Thanksgiving. Let us place the healthcare “turkey” on a platter and serve it to a riled up public! Most of us love turkey! Forget it. My idea is not so fabulous after all. Not even cranberry sauce, with yam casserole, can disguise this useless and baseless turkey of a bill!

Maybe this next idea can work. Madame Speaker, I heard that the president is going to have a “jobs summit.” Maybe you can get together and hold a combined summit, a “save jobs, kill current healthcare reform”! Don’t get this confused with the previously held “beer summit,” and serve up beer. On further reflection, beer may just be what the doctor ordered, so that the summiteers can drown their sorrow when they look at how this economy has been screwed up in less time than it takes to birth a baby! Talk about turning an economic “injury” into one requiring a full body cast! And you folks want to take over healthcare?

You keep your “change,” and I will keep my current healthcare. Don’t even try to come down my chimney, pretending to be Santa Claus, with your “present,” that I do not want, and will be forced to pay for. I am boarding up the chimney, and I am sewing my pockets shut!

Merry Christmas from Ms. Christmas!