1. You have the right to remain silent. What you say, said, or have not even said (thought), is already being used against you. Please do not scratch the site of that "health" chip that was implanted, er inserted into your tongue.
2. You have the right to shut up and not let your voice be heard....or else. Sidebar: If anyone on the "New Rights Committee," opens his or her mouth and divulges the "or else," he or she will be....(well, you will find out).
3. You have the right to work two, three or four jobs to make the pay you used to be able to make from one job. That is your absolute choice. Well, not really..."choice" has been replaced by "conforming decisions."
4. You have the right to have your hospitals closed down after being overwhelmed by guests. At least closure will prevent your dying on the floor from lack of attention.
5. You have the right for your child and/or children to not be able to receive a proper education. Rest assured that there is a key benefit to this new right. New research has shown that burger flipping, this rapidly expanding job opportunity, to which your children now have unalienable rights, does not require knowledge of Shakespeare or other hopelessly outdated learning. Such antiquated learning is now redundant. Eye/hand coordination is a more marketable and valuable skill.
6. You have the right to bear arms (as in holding up, by the arms, any uninvited guests who have claimed the right to your house and land). Do not drop those arms!
7. You have the right to drink yourself into oblivion, in a vain attempt to drown your sorrows. However, you do not have the right to get behind the wheel of a vehicle, while in your state of "oblivion." That right/privilege, has already been granted to others, who re more effective as using their vehicles as instruments of population control.
8. You have the right to use any and all of the Meth, Cocaine, Heroin or other "opiates," for the same purpose outlined in Article VII above. Technically, said opiates are illegal, but we your "New Rights Committee" members, have unanimously granted you the right to indulge for said purpose, as long as you maintain a superficial appearance of sobriety.
9. You have the right to be taxed so that the mating habits of slugs can be studied. Reminder: Not all slugs come from the animal kingdom. As we have all evolved from a single cell, slugs can take the shape of homo sapiens. In a spirit of generosity, your taxation rights extend to the privilege of being taxed to fund a laundry list of other items/causes. See Addendum I for said list. Refer to Pages 1 through 999, lines 1 through 10,1098.
10. You have the right to...Please accept our sincere apologies. Our printing press broke down. Our 98 technicians are working simultaneously and concurrently, to arrive at a solution, workable or unworkable. At the end of our scheduled 58 Committee meetings, your hard-working "New Rights Committee" will deliver the 10th right, if your priest or other religious leader, does not get there first...with the last rite.

This document was prepared by your New Rights Committee after copious, extended, lengthy, mind-numbing, exhaustive stufy by all 1098 Committee members.

Please contact us by telephone at 1-800-U R SCRWD, or by mail at 1098 Somnolence Avenue, Washington DC (insert new name here), USA D(U)SA (Disunited States of America).

Reported by E.I. Christmas, chief and only reporter of The You Have A Right To Know Newsletter

Today marks the six-year anniversary since the slaughter of 9/11/2001. Where should we be as a nation? Except for those brave men and women still fighting on foreign soil, to preserve what freedom we have left, and being maligned by some, we are giving every appearance of being flabby, and ill-prepared to fend off those lean and hungry-looking crazies who still want to kill us. The cadaver in the cave, much like a ghost of "Terror Attacks Past," if I may rip off Charles Dickens, made an appearance, to remind us that he is still not "deaden." First though, he made a pit stop to a drug store to pick up about six bottles of "For Men Only," to blacken his hair, to match his blackened soul. Still ugly. Like a rerun of a bad movie, he warned U.S. citizens about their economy, their government, and coming attacks by his "72 vestal virgins" liquored up goons. He even threw in the hot button (pun very much intended) issue of global warming. I am still not afraid.

I have had enough of ghosts, goblins, and dark-bearded cadavers. Let us leave them for Halloween. Let us talk about real and decent human beings, who before their lives were snuffed out, made more of their shortened lives, than the hypocrites who orchestrated their murders. I remembered Project 2996 Blog, http://www.project2996.com , which last year paid tribute to the victims of 9/11. I went there to find some names. I pulled up http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/writmm/197598/ which paid tribute to firefighter Lt. John A. Crisci. Here was a hero, who could have been safely home after completing his shift. Instead he put back on his gear, after he heard the radio reports of the Towers. Had he been as un-heroic as I am, he would have headed home after his shift, turned on the television, opened a can of soda, and settled in to watch. He never had a chance to have another soda.

I continued scrolling down the list of name of heroes and came across the name of Joseph Agnello. I recalled seeing that name before. I clicked on the link http://www.galenshideaway.blogspot.com. I pulled up a tribute to Lt. Joseph "Joey" Agnello. The name rang a bell, because I had first encountered it in a special edition of the National Enquirer, which paid tribute to the many firefighters lost on that fateful day. I remembered that, in dealing with my grief and anger, almost on a daily basis, I pulled out that issue and tried to honor those heroes, by imagining how their daily lives may have been. As was the case with Lt. Crisci, Lt. Agnello's life revolved around his vocation, and his family.

These were truly representative of the heroes who perished on that day. Their names may not be as famous or as notorious as the losers who robbed them of their lives, but I would have "broken bread" with them any day, instead of feeling revolted at even the thought of being on the same planet as the losers previously mentioned. So my fellow Americans, instead of wallowing in shallow stories of vacuous people doing idiotic things, (no I am not referring to the killers of these men and other - those killers are evil, not vacuous)......pay tribute to real people and real heroes. Lt. Crisci and Lt. Agnello, R.I.P.  

There goes the prevailing view of suspected/not yet convicted terrorists, as "poor, downtrodden, ill-educated" louts. What have we here? Doctors "gone wild" or "terroristic?" I have been following with a sense of astonishment, the parade of doctors being hunted down in the London/Glasgow attempted airport bombings. I am convinced that the doctors who were rounded up, since English is not their native tongue, got confused and thought "load car with explosives" meant "load patient with suppositories; "bomb airport," meant  "comb patient's port;" "do no harm," meant "yes, harm!" I don't even have a hemorrhoid problem, but I notice that I zeroed in on this theme. Calling Dr. Freud! What gives with my subconcious use of this theme? Is it because I think that the various excuses for tiptoeing around the real problem and perpetrators, have to do with a lot of waste material?

Anyway, I am hoping against hope, that this is all a big mistake, and we are going to find out that these doctors were moonlighting in what they thought was a "new" medical experiment in getting folks through airports in a more expeditious manner! I think that I may have stumbled onto a defense strategy. Lawyers for the doctors/defendents, call me. I have more ideas where that came from. Just give me a minute to ingest my "medication." 

Thank God the doctors who obey the Hippocratic Oath outnumber those who apparently are choosing not to.

I envisioned my second post on this blog as one in which I would crow about finally mastering how to get this blog  going, after my first excursion, about two months ago. That post extolling my "stellar" technical skills will have to wait.

Today June 29, 2007, I am dedicating this post to my nephew Leighton Alvie Batiste. Leighton passed away last evening at the tender age of 26. Nephews are supposed to outlive their aunts, or so I thought. I always teased my nephews about being in the "make auntie look short brigade," because from the time they turn 13 or so, I have always had to look up to them. I would give anything to be looking up once more at Leighton. I do not want to look down on him laid out in a casket.

I am going to keep in my heart the handsome, tall, intelligent, and caring young man. One who when I last saw him, enveloped me in his arms, and made me feel safe. It was like a squirrel burrowing in the "arms" of a tree. Well maybe not quite that similarity, but close.  I choose to remember Leighton as my nephew who was pursuing his dream to become a CPA. I choose to remember him as the young man who loved his mother, his father and his grandmother (my mother), with a kindness and caring that was remarked upon.

The intensity of grief at the news of Leighton's death surprised me. I had mistakenly believed that after the death of my mom, no other death would cause such level of grief. I think in this case, the grief may not be as long lasting but it is fierce. My faith, my family and my friends are sustaining me. Joy will come in the morning.

Are we revisiting the fall of the Roman Empire? Somehow, I feel that I no longer have to watch the History Channel, to see how the Roman Empire fell. I am living in a "live reality show" that is present day U.S.A.

Citizens are marching in the streets to demand that their government protect the rights, to which these citizens feel they are entitled. (Non) citizens are marching in the streets demanding their rights to live here illegally, and to collect benefits to which citizens  feel they are not entitled.  Pets have been poisoned, by being unwittingly fed a diet of melamine, because some "entrepreneurs" wanted to "boost protein" in grain in the pet food?  A kid is hauled up on charges of a hate crime, for placing a ham bone on a table where diners from a religion with an aversion to pigs, were sitting? I can really use that ham bone to make some tasty split pea soup! Has the bone been discarded?

While the latest proclivities, antics, activities involving "stars," and the results of the "unreal reality shows," take up the majority of our time, terrorists are plotting our demise. What is a citizen to do these days? Should U.S. citizens move from their overcrowded cities, into those countries that have unloaded about half of their population here, something like a reverse migration? Inquiring minds really would like to know.

I am signing off now so that I can go and chase down that ham bone! Maybe the kid will get off if there is no evidence!